A Healer's Testament: Transforming The Filthy Lucre

A challenge that many independent artists face is the challenge of accepting money as a part of the process. I know this challenge well. Learning to accept increasing amounts of money for the work I do is very difficult for me at times because my art is a sacred thing to me and money...well, money is evil, right? But what of those who appreciate me? Should they not be able to give to me as much as I want to give to them?

Sarah B. Tonin is an independent Spoken Word Artist and Healing Arts Therapist. In this piece, she discusses her history and indoctrination concerning money and how she is transforming "The Filthy Lucre" into Support and Abundance. I hope you are as inspired by her testimony as I was.

A Healer's Testament: Transforming the Filthy Lucre by Sarah B. Tonin
 
I had a conversation with a friend last week, and she asked me some very simple questions that had previously uncharted possible answers. I happen to believe that the solutions you seek usually always begin first with the right questions being asked. I thank God for having people in my life who help me introspect with certain accuracy.

My friend asked me, "What did money ever do to you, for you to dislike it so much?" I was determined that disliking money was not a problem I had, sure as I have businesses that I'm determined to see succeed. Then she illustrated to me my detachment from what I undoubtedly perceived to be "filthy lucre". She asked me again, "Why don't you see it as part of your processes, compensation for your effort, as opposed to a separate offensive entity that you want no REAL association with?" At first I defended with, "I am a healer, and money runs opposite my purpose." I thought after she pointed out, that I would not be able to continue to perform as a healer if I didn't first accept that capital will support my efforts and help sustain my practices (I knew this, but.....) She insisted, "If the universe wants to give you money, why won't you just accept that? It knows that you will not abuse and misuse people to attain it." So, I sat thinking for a moment, with tears in my eyes because we were being real, and stripped down and either I didn't want to admit money's importance to my missions, or because I just didn't want to go that deep into my own psyche at the moment....but I thought about it.

Two days later, after she was safely back in Portland, I was still contemplating. I could not recall ever being set aside for the love of money by the important people in my life. No one had ever stolen from me, or given me any funds that could be linked to illegal activity. I didn't know WHY I was so detached from the idea of accumulation of financial gain. Another day passes, and I think about how many times in the past I've been reluctant to work with money. I wanted NOTHING to do with people's cash. It was not worth the "headache" as I so often recall thinking. I actually made my path more difficult at times, in avoidance of dealing with money. That's when it came to me! I had not been at odds with money because of anything it had done to me. I had watched how corrupt people around me became with the prospect and actuality of money being within their grasp. I had seen the love of lucre destroy friendships, marriages, strain parental ties. I have witnessed people fight over it. Known of those being killed for it. I understood, without actually being in the midst of any of these instances that money could indeed created a volatile and hostile environment....and I was determined to exist in the midst peace and healing. Without ever really considering how far I had removed myself from the reality of things, money and I became estranged.

Today, with a renewed understanding of our misunderstanding, I'm prepared to kiss and make up. I know that I am who I am, and that money will not alter my character, to become like those I've seen descend to the most foul of lows because of character issues in them...not the money. I know that I will not lose my title of being a healer, and that money will work with me to further healing efforts for every single person it helps me to reach. I know I won't risk my individualism and become one in a sea of others, who live in the pursuit of money. And dear Universe, if you're still in a generous mood, I'm more than willing to accept the money you've been trying to send my way. Sorry it took so long to accept your offer of support and abundance. I'm learning how to get out of my own way more, with each passing day. I have long admitted to being an anomaly to myself though...even in all the good I seek to manifest for others. I'm gonna chill with that anomaly shit.

Sarah, let's get these monies!