Do you love the Lord but also love booty and
are trying to figure out how to bring the 2 together? Well, do we have a
blogger for you!!! De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson, an LCSW and Christian Sex
Therapist who's got some answers! http://sexforthesaints.blogspot.com/2013/05/dont-try-this-at-home.html
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| De-Andrea and Alan on their honeymoon! |
De-Andrea and I attended college together at Saint Louis University (SLU). Back then, the Black Student Alliance at SLU had a mentoring program where upper classmen mentored freshmen until they graduated. Well, De-Andrea was assigned to me as my mentor and she's been a-mentoring me ever since. We also have the same birthday, which makes De-Andrea doubly awesome ;-)
Besides being a brilliant writer and health professional, De-Andrea found her niche in teaching saved folks how to have kinky reckless sex...in the moment within a healthy relationship, of course. Being the heathen that I am, always fascinated by the physical pleasures of the world, I stopped De-Andrea to ask her a few questions:
Blue: Where are you from?
De-Andrea: I am from the union of Theda Pittman and James Blaylock, Jr. I
was created in love on their 5th wedding anniversary and landed in St.
Louis 2/18/1981. I've lived in North City, the West Side, and North County,
but everyone's really from Kemet (Egypt), right?
B: Tell us a little about your background.
D: In Jujitsu? No background whatsoever. Let's start
with my education. I graduated from Saint Louis University with a
Bachelor of Science degree in Social Work with a minor in Theology. I
then matriculated at Washington University in St. Louis where I earned a
Master of Social Work degree with a concentration in Mental Health.With
my faith, I was born and raised United Methodist in the same church my
parents met and married. As a teenager, I built myself spiritually with
mentors that are COGIC, and studied theology at a Jesuit Catholic
University. ...and now I attend a Baptist church. While in college, I
began to explore pre-Christian religions and was excited to see
similarities with them and modern Christianity. After visiting Egypt in
2009, I revisited what I learned in college and reaffirmed my belief
that it's all the same story told in different cultural contexts for the
most part.
B: What church do you go to?D: I currently attend New White Stone Missionary Baptist Church with my husband. He's very active there, serving as a deacon and leader in the music ministry. I joined soon after we returned from our honeymoon and enjoy the family atmosphere and appreciate the support of my pastor, Min. Marcus Divine.
B: How did you discover that Christian Sex Therapy was the way to go professionally?
D: I think I discovered Christian Sex Therapy as a
possible profession by accident. One of my good friends introduced me to
Sex Therapy while we were in undergrad. I knew that I wanted to do
therapy of some sort and was interested in working with relationships
specifically. However, specializing in sex just seemed super
interesting! I mean, it's sex: the word so many are afraid to utter in
mixed company but everyone exists because of it. Because of the
(incorrect) lessons I learned about sex and sexuality from the Christian
community, I realized there needed to be a venue for sex positive
messages that were in line with the Faith. I did a bit of research and
just came to the conclusion that there are far too few people within my
community that profess to be Christians and are willing to speak openly
about sex and sexuality from a place of love and not condemnation. You
must be the change you wish to see, right? Yes, that's paraphrased from
Mahatma Gandhi who was not Christian, but also said "I like your Christ,
I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your
Christ."
B: How does your professional history in social work affect the way you view sex among the saints?
D: I am a social worker at heart and a true fan of the training I received, mostly because of the Person-In-Environment perspective. Basically, as a mental health professional, I've been taught to examine an individual's situation from various viewpoints, taking into consideration their community and how it impacts their worldview. As it relates to sex among the Saints, I understand and, in some situations, have been taught a lot of the same negative ideas about sex and sexuality. These ideas can impact how you interact with others and what you may think is available to you. I believe sex is a wonderful part of the human experience. Even Paul talks about how it can extend salvation to your mate. However, because sex is often used to manipulate and control (and has been in the canonical 66) I can empathize when people believe what they believe because of what they've been taught. To some, my being a follower of The Way opens the door to an honest conversation about sex and sexuality and true growth and healing can take place. Social Work and Sexuality go hand-in-hand.
B: What has been the most...we'll just say "interesting" thing you've run across in your experience or research?
D: I'd say the most interesting thing I've run
across is the observation of my own growth. Sexuality is broad and I've
only been exposed to a...naw, I was about to lie. I've seen and been
exposed to a lot of stuff! However, I notice that my reactions have
changed. As part of my Sex Therapist training, I had to attend a SAR -
Sexual Attitude Reassessment - where I was flooded with all types of
sexual images and given an opportunity to process them. You have to ask
yourself tough questions you may not have considered, but it's important
to deal with your own "stuff" before you're able to help anyone else
heal from theirs.
B: What are your core values?
D: My core values:
Love conquers all.
I am created in Love.
Love is the answer.
Fear cannot exist in the same space as Love.
God is Love.
And I am sexy as hell.
B: If you could go back in time, what would you tell 10 year old De-Andrea?
D: I remember being too practical as a youngin'. I
remember a conversation I had with my father, who died when I was 15
years old. I had these grand ideas of what I wanted to be when I grew
up. First, I was going to be a singer-dancer-actress, then a fashion
designer, then the first black female Supreme Court Justice, then a
chef. I used to watch cooking shows on PBS and recreate recipes. One
night, I was talking with my dad about my latest creation - a chocolate
peanut butter cake - and how I probably shouldn't work toward being a
chef because it was highly unlikely that I'd become a SuperStar Chef.
What he said to me is some of the best advice I've ever received. He
told me to stop worrying about fame and just create. He told me I could
be whatever I wanted and that I shouldn't worry about being practical,
but that I could do anything I put my mind to. I was probably 14 when I
had that conversation with Daddy.
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| "I love singing with this chick" -De-Andrea with her sister De-Rance |
I'd tell 10-year-old De-Andrea to keep the spark in
her eyes, to keep singing everywhere she went, even the grocery store,
to keep creating, and to dream big. Don't worry about practicality.
You're 10. Can you spell that yet? Also, you know how your dance teacher
judged you by your size and told you, "You have to work in this class;
you can't sit out and expect an A" and you just nodded and asked where
you could buy your dance shoes? Keep dancing. Something tells me that if
you work hard, you'll get an 8th grade solo.
B:What's next for De-Andrea Blaylock?
D: Oh the possibilities! As of now, I'm building my
private practice where I provide therapy for people dealing with issues
related to sex and sexuality. I'm also conducting monthly workshops. I'm
a blogger at SexForTheSaints.Blogspot.Com
and a loving wife of an incredibly loving, patient, and handsome
husband. Next up is a YouTube Channel where I provide information about
sexuality from a Christian perspective and more speaking engagements.
Also, a book is in the works. I'm not limiting myself. I'm excited about
collaboration with other healers and professionals and am just excited
about what's to come, whatever it may be.
B: Where can we find or contact you?
D: You can check me out at SexForTheSaints.Blogspot.Com and follow me on Twitter @ChrSexMaven because I am the Christian Sex Maven. To schedule an appointment, you can email me at deandrea.blaylock@gmail.com. I'm also writing for AHouseToLove.Com which is a collective I've recently joined am excited to be a contributor for.
Thanks for visiting Uranus, De-Andrea!
Love,
Blue
Listen to our full interview!
